The entire world has witnessed the tragedy that has befallen Haiti. There are early estimates that the death toll may exceed 100,000 – and even if that isn’t the case, the devastation is still catastrophic. Despite the violence and looting that is taking place in the country, it is warming to see the international community and organizations coming together to do their best to provide aid and relief. In much of the country, fresh food is a near impossibility to get a hold of, as is fresh water. People are actually breaking open water lines so they can fill buckets with fresh water to keep them alive and hydrated. Even as people around the word donate money and bottled water and canned foods, the demand is just far too great.

There is one organization that decided to take some serious action in this time of suffering and pain though. They are sending Haitians exactly what they need more than anything: Bibles – and not just any Bibles, but the audio Bibles known as the Proclaimer, which are solar powered and can run up to fifteen hours before needing recharged. Despite the fact that gifts, by definition, do not cost money and they carry a price tag, the Proclaimer is, according to the website, “a gift from God” in which “inspiration for it came during three days of fasting and prayer.” Wow! Best of all, they have these in their native language of Haitian Creole. Who needs food and water when they can have the salvation of Jesus Christ?

They are doing this as their little way of “providing faith, hope and love through God’s Word in audio”. Oh, what’s that you say, Miss Haitian Who Lost Everything? Jesus’s salvation isn’t very filling? Well, know that after you die your long and painful death of starvation or malnutrition, there will be plenty of water and food waiting for you at the pearly gates. I also hear that they have some great recreational shuffleboard.

Or, we could just face reality. These people are morons. The Haitians don’t need audio versions of the Bible. These people need food. They need water. They need medical assistance. They need shelter. Besides the fact that these Christians are preying on the emotionally unstable (which should be an international crime), the amount of money being spent on these must be unbelievably high. 600 have already been sent and they are aiming for a total of 3,000. The company’s official website does not list the price of the audio Bible in Haitian Creole, so I called to inquire, but unfortunately they were closed and I received only a brief audio message talking about the hope that Jesus can bring me, when the only hope I had was that somebody could give me a damn price on one of these useless machines.

With that said, if this money that was being completely wasted was spent elsewhere (and I’m going to take a wild guess that one of these around in the $40-50 range, so you can do the math) it would certainly assist hundreds, if not thousands, of desperate Haitians. Unfortunately, these religious whackjobs are too busy promoting their religious beliefs. Or maybe, just maybe I am wrong and these will provide the Haitians with exactly what the FCBH website says: “God’s Word can demonstrate that God understands their situation and has not forgotten them.”