I really don’t know much about Massachusetts Senator-Elect Scott Brown, other than he is the Republican Senator filling Ted Kennedy’s seat, he used to drive a truck and model for Cosmo, and the teabaggers support him. Oh, and his daughters are, like, totally single.

While giving his nationally-televised speech following his win in Massachusetts, Brown’s comments took a serious note when he spoke of his two young daughters: “Just in case anyone who’s watching throughout the country, yes they’re both available.”

And I was kind of wondering, because there is nothing that I like more than corrupting young conservative women. Senator Brown, expect a formal proposal along with a dowry of $170, some frankincense, and a camel in your mail by next week sometime.

Not all are going to be standing in line for their hands in marriage though. Glenn Beck on his radio show made known his distaste for Brown offering up his daughters to the highest bidder. “This one could end with a dead intern,” Beck tastefully said of Brown’s election. “I want a chastity belt on this man. I want his every move watched in Washington. I don’t trust this guy. … Let’s put an ankle bracelet on him. Let’s know where he is at all times.”

Beck has made his voice heard, so it’s only a matter of time before even the teabaggers turn on Senator Brown… and I steal his daughter’s heart.

Sources: 1, 2