December 2009

‘Tis the season for giving, and our government is trying their best to ensure around 30 million US citizens have a happy holiday.  And a happy rest of their lives.

Hopefully we can get this sucker straightened out in the House (or the Hizzy, as I like to call it).  Check out some of the most important legislation in quite some time.

Affordable Health Care for America Act (.pdf)

Shortened summery of the Affordable Health Care for America Act (.pdf)

A Yahoo! article summarizing how the Senate Bill would change health care (not a .pdf)

I was flipping through channels today and absolutely had to stop on Fox News because Geraldo Rivera was on.  What a mustache that guy has!  It’s like Snidely Whiplash.

Anyways, on the bottom of Fox News I noticed a number ticking away and getting larger by the second.  Then when I read the title of the number I was terrified!  The number that was growing was our national debt, thanks to those dirty Democrats.  Oh, no!  What should I do?!   “That number has place values I never even learned about before,” I thought to myself.  “No wonder all the analysts at Fox News are so angry.  Look at all the money we’re spending that we don’t have!”

Fortunately in my excitement I jumped up from the couch.  When I sat back down, I sat on my own testicles and it hurt so badly that it made me remember this.

“What is this?” say you, who are too lazy to click on the link and read.  It’s the 3 trillion dollars we spent on a war we entered under false pretenses.

Idiots. (Except you, Geraldo)

This has absolutely nothing to do with politics.  However, my fear of cats is growing by the minute.

“They show extraordinary intelligence, even problem-solving. Especially the big one. We bred eight originally, but when she came in she took over the pride and killed all but two of the others. That one… when she looks at you, you can tell she’s working things out.” – Robert Muldoon

I haven’t laughed this hard in quite some time.  Thanks to blog-favorite PZ Myers for finding and posting this little gem.

I’m sure Charles Darwin would really appreciate the new 50 page forward Crazy Ray wrote for him.  I think the Blood of Christ Beer is a much more effective way to get your point across.  Until next time, I’m going to go eat some bananas, the key to Creationism.

Houston Mayor-elect Annise Parker, center, celebrates her runoff election vicotry at a campaign party Saturday, Dec. 12, 2009 in Houston. Parker defeated former city attorney Gene Locke making Houston the largest U.S. city to elect an openly gay mayor. (AP Photo/David J. Phillip)

Rome wasn’t built in a day.  You have to admit, though, it’s a nice start.

Apparently Ms. Parker has her hands full with transportation issues, balancing of a budget (surprise), and finding a new police chief for the City of Houston.  One of the big ticket items on her platform is promoting fiscal responsibility.  If you look at her credentials, she certainly doesn’t seem underqualified for that task.

Maybe while she’s at it, she could look into helping out the Astros figure out how to keep their staff ace, Roy Oswalt, healthy next season.  My fantasy team sure would appreciate it.

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